Application letter revision | Business & Finance homework help

Explain why the following letter of application is ineffective. Rewrite it to make it more precise and appropriate. Please read page 280 to page 288. Letter:

Apartment 32

Jeggler Drive

Talcott, Arizona


Grandt Corporation

Production Supervisor

Capital City, Arizona

Dear Sir:

I am writing to ask you if your company will consider me for the position you announced online recently. I believe that with my education (I have an associate degree) and experience (I have worked four years as a freight  supervisor), I could fill your job.

My schoolwork was done at two junior colleges, and I took more than enough courses in business management and information  technology. In fact, here is a list of some of my courses: Supervision, Materials  Management, Work Experience in Management, E-commerce, Safety  Tactics, Introduction to Software Analysis, Art Design, Contemporary Business  Principles, and Small Business Management. In addition, I have worked as a loading dock  supervisor for the last two years, and before that I worked in the military in the Quartermaster Corps.

Please let me know if you are interested in me. I would like to have an  interview with you at the earliest possible date, since there are some other firms also interested in me, too.

Eagerly yours,

George D. Milhous

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